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Now who could leave those pretty blue eyes in a parking lot?
27 January 2007
26 January 2007
More Damn Lists Because I'm Lazy
So I originally logged on to talk about this movie MS and I just saw and how I felt about it. But that involves English intellectualizing, righteous racial indignation, and angry speechifying. And I'm not up to it tonight. I'm a school teacher. My life is speechifying. So instead I'll do this mindless candy list. I will get to the movie soon. In the meantime, DO NOT go see Primeval.
1. If you could build a house anywhere, where would it be? The Commonwealth of the Bahamas. (I'm going with MS on this one)
2. What's your favorite article of clothing? pajama pants, hippy skirts, and business suits
3. Favorite physical feature of the opposite (same) sex? I can only describe it as a "nice" face. You know how some men just look kind? I love that.
4. What's the last CD that you bought? "Swordfishtrombones" by Tom Waits
5. Where's your favorite place to be? either in bed or on my back deck
6. Where is your least favorite place to be? My hometown (sorry, family. Love you, but, um, yeah. Hate that town)
7. What's your favorite place to be massaged? shoulder blade and neck area. or calves. Actually, I don't even care. Wherever.
8. Strong in mind or strong in body? Mind.
9. What time do you wake up in the morning? 6:45 in the a.m.
10. What is your favorite kitchen appliance? my mil got me a Kitchenaid mixer for my birthday. I'm still not sure what it does but it's so shiny and heavy and complicated that I can't help but adore it.
11. What makes you really angry? People who don't think. I mean seriously. How hard is it to make a little goddam sense?
12. If you could play any instrument, what would it be? I played piano for many years as a child. I'd like to start up again.
13. Favorite colour? For as far back as I can remember, it was always blue. But then, about a year ago, it randomly became green. I have no idea why.
14. Which do you prefer...sports car or SUV? I don't want either. I want a car that gets, like, a billion miles per gallon and doesn't have automated anything.
15. Do you believe in an afterlife? No.
16. Favorite children's book? anything by Roald Dahl. The darker, the better. I was a sick child.
17. What is your favorite season? Summer!
18. Your least favorite household chore? Oh, that's easy. Putting up laundry.
19. If you could have one super power, what would it be? To identify the one person in governments or corporations that I could yell at.
20. If you have a tattoo, what is it? I don't have one.
21. Can you juggle? I can barely hold things in a normal way without dropping them. Throwing and catching is absolutely not going to happen.
22. The one person from your past that you wish you could go back and talk to? I kind of wish I could go back in time and be nicer to my sister. I was mean to her, and she was just a little kid :(
23. What's your favorite day? Independence Day. (again, I agree with MS :)
24. What's in the trunk of your car? I have absolutely no idea. I just know it's kind of full. I should really look into that.
25. Which do you prefer, sushi or hamburger? Sushi sushi sushi sushi sushi! I could eat it every day!
1. If you could build a house anywhere, where would it be? The Commonwealth of the Bahamas. (I'm going with MS on this one)
2. What's your favorite article of clothing? pajama pants, hippy skirts, and business suits
3. Favorite physical feature of the opposite (same) sex? I can only describe it as a "nice" face. You know how some men just look kind? I love that.
4. What's the last CD that you bought? "Swordfishtrombones" by Tom Waits
5. Where's your favorite place to be? either in bed or on my back deck
6. Where is your least favorite place to be? My hometown (sorry, family. Love you, but, um, yeah. Hate that town)
7. What's your favorite place to be massaged? shoulder blade and neck area. or calves. Actually, I don't even care. Wherever.
8. Strong in mind or strong in body? Mind.
9. What time do you wake up in the morning? 6:45 in the a.m.
10. What is your favorite kitchen appliance? my mil got me a Kitchenaid mixer for my birthday. I'm still not sure what it does but it's so shiny and heavy and complicated that I can't help but adore it.
11. What makes you really angry? People who don't think. I mean seriously. How hard is it to make a little goddam sense?
12. If you could play any instrument, what would it be? I played piano for many years as a child. I'd like to start up again.
13. Favorite colour? For as far back as I can remember, it was always blue. But then, about a year ago, it randomly became green. I have no idea why.
14. Which do you prefer...sports car or SUV? I don't want either. I want a car that gets, like, a billion miles per gallon and doesn't have automated anything.
15. Do you believe in an afterlife? No.
16. Favorite children's book? anything by Roald Dahl. The darker, the better. I was a sick child.
17. What is your favorite season? Summer!
18. Your least favorite household chore? Oh, that's easy. Putting up laundry.
19. If you could have one super power, what would it be? To identify the one person in governments or corporations that I could yell at.
20. If you have a tattoo, what is it? I don't have one.
21. Can you juggle? I can barely hold things in a normal way without dropping them. Throwing and catching is absolutely not going to happen.
22. The one person from your past that you wish you could go back and talk to? I kind of wish I could go back in time and be nicer to my sister. I was mean to her, and she was just a little kid :(
23. What's your favorite day? Independence Day. (again, I agree with MS :)
24. What's in the trunk of your car? I have absolutely no idea. I just know it's kind of full. I should really look into that.
25. Which do you prefer, sushi or hamburger? Sushi sushi sushi sushi sushi! I could eat it every day!
16 January 2007
Omigod, CLOTHES
First things first--all ya'll within hearing range, I've got two more trash bags of clothes I'm tossing. Sara, there is a pair of stripey pants with your name all over them. Some I'm getting rid of because they don't fit and, let's be real, even if they ever did again, I wouldn't wear them because they used to not fit. The only exception to this is the pair of jeans MS so dearly loved back in the first blush of our romance. Despite tossing things that are 1/16th of a size to smallish, I cling to those jeans knowing in my heart of hearts that I will someday wear them again, despite being a size My Skeleton. Others are simply unflattering--DD in a halter? Um, no. White chic, no ass pockets? I hope I didn't pay much for that. Anyway, the point is, lots of clothes are up for grabs, despite the fact that I gave away (I am not even shitting you) eight industrial sized garden trash bags full of clothes six months ago. And am I down to two pairs of pants and three tasteful button-ups? Not even.
So it occurs to me that on that survey, I should have said the one vice I would choose above all others is CLOTHES. I can't get enough of them. I love them. They make me happy. I get off on getting new ones, rediscovering old ones, and finding new ways to pair existing ones. I wouldn't say I love "fashion" because I like looking interesting while decidedly NOT being trendy. And I can get away with some wild stuff because of it. Two days ago I wore a magenta fur coat with an Indian headscarf and work boots--and it got raves. In my defense, though, all my clothes are cheap, so at least I'm not wasting our light bill on this. This is obviously a vice, as my clothing obsession neatly fits into all seven deadly sins:
1) Lust:New outfits are actually physically arousing to me. I keep thinking about how awesome I'll look, which will drive the menfold (MS) wild.
2) Gluttony: Wikipedia defines this as "any form of thoughtless excess." Please see the paragraph about the trash bags...
3) Greed: If there is any chance on Earth I will ever wear something ever again, you bitches ain't gettin' it.
4) Sloth: When you buy clothes, you not only get new clothes, you also get to not do laundry!
5) Wrath: It is commonly heald that if you cause someone to sin, you too are guilty of that sin. One closet, two people. You do the math.
6) Envy: Stupid flat chested people and their stupid ability to wear cute shirts.
7) Pride: Wikipedia--"a desire to be more important or attractive to others, or excessive love of self (especially holding self out of proper position toward God)." Yeah.
So, it turns out that I'm not going to hell because I'm blasphemous, an atheist, think homos should be able to get married, had premarital sex, or drink to excess--it's because I can't keep my hands off a Name Brand Clothing sale!
What a relief.
So it occurs to me that on that survey, I should have said the one vice I would choose above all others is CLOTHES. I can't get enough of them. I love them. They make me happy. I get off on getting new ones, rediscovering old ones, and finding new ways to pair existing ones. I wouldn't say I love "fashion" because I like looking interesting while decidedly NOT being trendy. And I can get away with some wild stuff because of it. Two days ago I wore a magenta fur coat with an Indian headscarf and work boots--and it got raves. In my defense, though, all my clothes are cheap, so at least I'm not wasting our light bill on this. This is obviously a vice, as my clothing obsession neatly fits into all seven deadly sins:
1) Lust:New outfits are actually physically arousing to me. I keep thinking about how awesome I'll look, which will drive the menfold (MS) wild.
2) Gluttony: Wikipedia defines this as "any form of thoughtless excess." Please see the paragraph about the trash bags...
3) Greed: If there is any chance on Earth I will ever wear something ever again, you bitches ain't gettin' it.
4) Sloth: When you buy clothes, you not only get new clothes, you also get to not do laundry!
5) Wrath: It is commonly heald that if you cause someone to sin, you too are guilty of that sin. One closet, two people. You do the math.
6) Envy: Stupid flat chested people and their stupid ability to wear cute shirts.
7) Pride: Wikipedia--"a desire to be more important or attractive to others, or excessive love of self (especially holding self out of proper position toward God)." Yeah.
So, it turns out that I'm not going to hell because I'm blasphemous, an atheist, think homos should be able to get married, had premarital sex, or drink to excess--it's because I can't keep my hands off a Name Brand Clothing sale!
What a relief.
11 January 2007
Ok, I'm it.
I'm smarmy. Whatever.
1.) If you had to choose one vice in exclusion of all others what would it be?
I don't really do anything that I think is morally wrong, so I don't really know. I guess if we're going with the seven deadlies, my favorite is a tie between lust and gluttony.
2.) If you could change one specific thing about the world what would it be?
Like Lennon, I imagine a world with no religion.
3.) Name the cartoon character you identify with the most. Daria.
4.) If you could live one day in your life over again which one would it be?
Cheesy, but the day I got married. It's the most fun I've ever had and the most happy (and relieved) I've ever been. It was the day that I was finally able to accept that my past was behind me and I'd genuinely become who I wanted to be, not who I was expected to be.
5.) If you could go back in history and spend a day with one person who would it be?
Ptolomy. I want to know more about that library thing.
6.) What is the one thing you lost, sold or threw away that you wish you could have back?
I can't think of any possesion. Only a person.
7.) What is your one most important contribution to this world?
I thought.
8.) What is your one hidden talent that nearly no one knows about?
I don't really have any talents. Sorry.
9.) What is your most cherished possession?
All pieces of jewelry that I own with sapphires. All of them are special.
10.) What one person influenced your life the most when growing up?
My grandpa.
11.) What one word describes you better than any other?
Changeable.
1.) If you had to choose one vice in exclusion of all others what would it be?
I don't really do anything that I think is morally wrong, so I don't really know. I guess if we're going with the seven deadlies, my favorite is a tie between lust and gluttony.
2.) If you could change one specific thing about the world what would it be?
Like Lennon, I imagine a world with no religion.
3.) Name the cartoon character you identify with the most. Daria.
4.) If you could live one day in your life over again which one would it be?
Cheesy, but the day I got married. It's the most fun I've ever had and the most happy (and relieved) I've ever been. It was the day that I was finally able to accept that my past was behind me and I'd genuinely become who I wanted to be, not who I was expected to be.
5.) If you could go back in history and spend a day with one person who would it be?
Ptolomy. I want to know more about that library thing.
6.) What is the one thing you lost, sold or threw away that you wish you could have back?
I can't think of any possesion. Only a person.
7.) What is your one most important contribution to this world?
I thought.
8.) What is your one hidden talent that nearly no one knows about?
I don't really have any talents. Sorry.
9.) What is your most cherished possession?
All pieces of jewelry that I own with sapphires. All of them are special.
10.) What one person influenced your life the most when growing up?
My grandpa.
11.) What one word describes you better than any other?
Changeable.
09 January 2007
Oh Come On
So this Freedom Writers thing is all over the place. For those of you who haven't heard of it, it's another goddam teacher movie. This time, a young, white (natch), first year teacher goes into an inner city school and makes the kids successful writers. Okay, fine, good idea, very admirable. What is totally retarded, though, is the fact that they glorify how she took two extra jobs to buy school supplies and got a divorce because she was completely neglecting her marriage.
Uh, no.
First of all, we should be filled with rage and horror that a teacher woulde HAVE to buy her own supplies. Second of all, write a grant for god's sake! Cry to Borders. Sigh to a politician up for election. Don't be such a freakin' martyr and make (I shit you not) parents and students ask real teachers why we don't do that.
Second, she taught for one year. She left the class room to talk about what an awesome teacher she is, like, the second the school year was over. Way to make a difference there.
Third, if this were a movie about a CEO who neglects him family, he would totally be the bad guy. In this, the husband is portrayed as bad. For what? Wanting to see his wife? What an asshole. Seriously--and I 100% mean this--if MS came up to me and said "Your job is ruining our marriage," I couldn't quit fast enough. Seriously, I would, like, spontaneously invent telepathy so that I wouldn't even have to take the time to write a resignation e-mail.
If people realized how unreasonable these demands are, it would be one thing. But the public actually starts expecting this crap of you. Jesus, they don't expect nurses to work an extra job to buy cotton balls, and if they fuck it up, someone dies. Whereas, if I mess up, someone misinterprets the symbolism of Tennesee Williams's later works. OOOoooooo!
For real, though. Teacher movies are dumb. Except Donnie Darko. They totally nailed it.
Also, in reference to Sara's comment, they should make cigarettes that are not actually cigarettes. They don't hurt or stink or cost anything, but they make you look cool and angry and make you feel better.
Uh, no.
First of all, we should be filled with rage and horror that a teacher woulde HAVE to buy her own supplies. Second of all, write a grant for god's sake! Cry to Borders. Sigh to a politician up for election. Don't be such a freakin' martyr and make (I shit you not) parents and students ask real teachers why we don't do that.
Second, she taught for one year. She left the class room to talk about what an awesome teacher she is, like, the second the school year was over. Way to make a difference there.
Third, if this were a movie about a CEO who neglects him family, he would totally be the bad guy. In this, the husband is portrayed as bad. For what? Wanting to see his wife? What an asshole. Seriously--and I 100% mean this--if MS came up to me and said "Your job is ruining our marriage," I couldn't quit fast enough. Seriously, I would, like, spontaneously invent telepathy so that I wouldn't even have to take the time to write a resignation e-mail.
If people realized how unreasonable these demands are, it would be one thing. But the public actually starts expecting this crap of you. Jesus, they don't expect nurses to work an extra job to buy cotton balls, and if they fuck it up, someone dies. Whereas, if I mess up, someone misinterprets the symbolism of Tennesee Williams's later works. OOOoooooo!
For real, though. Teacher movies are dumb. Except Donnie Darko. They totally nailed it.
Also, in reference to Sara's comment, they should make cigarettes that are not actually cigarettes. They don't hurt or stink or cost anything, but they make you look cool and angry and make you feel better.
05 January 2007
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