60. Religion disgusts me. I genuinely believe that it is the root of all true evil. If there is a god, and he really wants us to hate, judge, fight, and belittle each other for his sake, then I want no part of him. I think if people just thought more about how to be good people and less about what some fairy tale says, then we'd be pretty much utopian.
59. I have been trying to live my life solely according to logic. I have decided to not do anything illogical. It's been a struggle, though, because there are things that make only emotional, not logical, sense that I can't let go of. Monogamy, for example. I know it is unnatural for our species and I know that the desire for it is socially conditioned. But the thought of infidelity--even with permission--completely horrifies and disgusts me. It's cool for other people, but as for myself--no.
58. I am grossed out by how big my belly has gotten, but at the same time, there is this sick fascination about all the awful physiological stuff that's happening to me. Kind of a train wreck thing.
57. Safety pins just may be the greatest invention of our time.
56. Dog people just kind of get each other in a way that non-dog people can never understand.
55. Never hearing from the AP grading association hurt me more than I like to admit.
54. I have a t-shirt I got in Amarillo, TX when I was in sixth grade. It's HUGE and I still wear it to sleep in. It is more holes than shirt now, but for some reason I love it so so much. I really can't imagine getting rid of it, no matter how disgusting it looks. I'll probably hang onto it long after there is enough cloth to wear.
53. I'm known for being well dressed, but the truth is I really get sick of worrying about my clothes all the time.
52. I wonder what my breasts are for. I can't even figure out if I'm proud or ashamed of them.
51. I am truly convinced that I have ADD in some form.
27 May 2007
16 May 2007
Open Letter Part VI and VII
Dear The Media,
Listen...I'm all for respect for the dead. But, um...the way you're handling the death of Falwell (how's that for ironic names)? Is, well, baffling at best, stupid at worst. And by worst I mean "reality." All this posturing and making him sound so missed and like he was a force for positive change, blah blah blah.
You seem to have forgotten a few key things:
1. This is the guy that said women who want equality are just mad because they don't have a man to tell them what to do and are taking it out on all men. Now I know some of you know a feminist. Hell, I know some of you ARE feminists. Can we not whitewash this, please?
2. He blames 9/11--9 e-fucking-leven--on women, the ACLU (of which I am now a card carrying member--thanks MS! and just in time!), gays, activists, working mothers, etc. etc. etc. That's like saying someone got cancer because God was punishing them. And you're going to let that slide?
3. He boycotted the Teletubbies because he decided one was gay. TELETUBBIES!!! You can't even make this shit up.
4. Liberty University is NOT a fine school. It's not even accredited. Quit acting like it's not a brainwashing camp. It is.
5. He said Billy Graham is an agent of the devil. It's like he got so right wing bats that he wrapped all the way around to the left side.
I could go on all day about how Falwell is a douche who deserves to have his grave pissed on by every person who loves America and what it stands for--freedom, equality, and logical dissent. But I'm not. I'm not saying you should, either. Just let's not act like he's, I don't know, a decent human being worthy of respect. Adolph Hitler, whoever burned up those little girls in Alabama, and people like them don't get positive reviews on NPR. He shouldn't either.
Sincerely,
MF-S
Dear Jerry Falwell,
There is only one thing I can say to you.
The Bible says that whoever causes a person to sin is guilty of a sin greater than the one committed by the misled person. Further, the Bible says that the greatest sin of all is to deny the Holy Spirit.
You made me an atheist. What do you suppose your God has to say about that?
MF-S
Update: Apparently even Fred Phelps hated him. You gotta be some kind of asshole...
Listen...I'm all for respect for the dead. But, um...the way you're handling the death of Falwell (how's that for ironic names)? Is, well, baffling at best, stupid at worst. And by worst I mean "reality." All this posturing and making him sound so missed and like he was a force for positive change, blah blah blah.
You seem to have forgotten a few key things:
1. This is the guy that said women who want equality are just mad because they don't have a man to tell them what to do and are taking it out on all men. Now I know some of you know a feminist. Hell, I know some of you ARE feminists. Can we not whitewash this, please?
2. He blames 9/11--9 e-fucking-leven--on women, the ACLU (of which I am now a card carrying member--thanks MS! and just in time!), gays, activists, working mothers, etc. etc. etc. That's like saying someone got cancer because God was punishing them. And you're going to let that slide?
3. He boycotted the Teletubbies because he decided one was gay. TELETUBBIES!!! You can't even make this shit up.
4. Liberty University is NOT a fine school. It's not even accredited. Quit acting like it's not a brainwashing camp. It is.
5. He said Billy Graham is an agent of the devil. It's like he got so right wing bats that he wrapped all the way around to the left side.
I could go on all day about how Falwell is a douche who deserves to have his grave pissed on by every person who loves America and what it stands for--freedom, equality, and logical dissent. But I'm not. I'm not saying you should, either. Just let's not act like he's, I don't know, a decent human being worthy of respect. Adolph Hitler, whoever burned up those little girls in Alabama, and people like them don't get positive reviews on NPR. He shouldn't either.
Sincerely,
MF-S
Dear Jerry Falwell,
There is only one thing I can say to you.
The Bible says that whoever causes a person to sin is guilty of a sin greater than the one committed by the misled person. Further, the Bible says that the greatest sin of all is to deny the Holy Spirit.
You made me an atheist. What do you suppose your God has to say about that?
MF-S
Update: Apparently even Fred Phelps hated him. You gotta be some kind of asshole...
05 May 2007
Mary Flannery, Age 16 meets Mary Flannery-Scientist
*Whirr of a time machine popping into existence in rural Oklahoma, 1996*
16yrMF: Um... holy crap? Who are you?
MF-S: I'm you in a little over a decade.
16MF: *sobs* Oh my god! I got so fat! And where the hell did all my hair go? At least tell me I achieved my dream of becoming a doctor!
MF-S: Er...no, not exactly. Actually, you teach high school.
16MF: *sobs hysterically* OH GOD! Do I wear pinafores? *pause for the realization of fresh horror* Wait--if I'm a teacher...that means I'M STILL IN THIS TOWN! *hysterics*
MF-S: *annoyed* No, no, no. You're in Tulsa.
16MF: Tulsa? That's not much better...I didn't even make it to OKC! *crying*
MF-S: Oh, but you did. You lived there--with Will, I might add--for a year and you HATED it. You worked three jobs. All were cool, but you were exhausted and needed more out of life than a publishing company, a bookstore, and the growing hatred of one of your best friends.
16MF: Huh? I'm so confused. So, in like several years, I'm still going to be friends with Will, but we won't get married like mom said?
MF-S: Oh GOD no you won't get married. See, 16 year old me, you do this little thing called "growing up and being true to yourself."
16MF: I change?
MF-S: You cannot begin to imagine how much you'll change. True, you get fat. But you know what else you get? A master's degree, a teaching job at one of the best schools in the country--it's for poor smart kids!, an inside dog, a pissy cat, a cool house from the 1920s, more friends than you can keep up with--all of which are kind and devoted and cool and reliable, and best of all...you get married.
16MF: Ok...either you're me or you said you got married. It cannot be both.
MF-S: No, really! You know that guy you made up in your head as, like, the perfect imaginary guy?
16MF: How do you know about that?
MF-S: I'm you, remember?
16MF: Oh, right.
MF-S: Anyway, this guy you get married to is actually way cooler than THAT.
16MF: Not possible!
MF-S: Possible! He doesn't have all those undesirable traits you threw in to make it more realistic. Sweetie...*caring arm around my shoulders* your expectations right now are awfully low. Wait until you blow this pop stand. Then you'll see what REAL men are like. And real clothes. And real bookstores. And real museums. And real grocery stores. And real friends. And--
16MF: Ok, ok, I get it. But...this isn't anything remotely like what I planned.
MF-S: It never is.
16MF: One more thing...
MF-S: Yeah?
16MF: Do I ever get pretty?
MF-S: You don't change, but the beauty standard does. In a few years, there are going to be these women named "Kate Winslet" and "Beyonce." You won't know what hit you...
16yrMF: Um... holy crap? Who are you?
MF-S: I'm you in a little over a decade.
16MF: *sobs* Oh my god! I got so fat! And where the hell did all my hair go? At least tell me I achieved my dream of becoming a doctor!
MF-S: Er...no, not exactly. Actually, you teach high school.
16MF: *sobs hysterically* OH GOD! Do I wear pinafores? *pause for the realization of fresh horror* Wait--if I'm a teacher...that means I'M STILL IN THIS TOWN! *hysterics*
MF-S: *annoyed* No, no, no. You're in Tulsa.
16MF: Tulsa? That's not much better...I didn't even make it to OKC! *crying*
MF-S: Oh, but you did. You lived there--with Will, I might add--for a year and you HATED it. You worked three jobs. All were cool, but you were exhausted and needed more out of life than a publishing company, a bookstore, and the growing hatred of one of your best friends.
16MF: Huh? I'm so confused. So, in like several years, I'm still going to be friends with Will, but we won't get married like mom said?
MF-S: Oh GOD no you won't get married. See, 16 year old me, you do this little thing called "growing up and being true to yourself."
16MF: I change?
MF-S: You cannot begin to imagine how much you'll change. True, you get fat. But you know what else you get? A master's degree, a teaching job at one of the best schools in the country--it's for poor smart kids!, an inside dog, a pissy cat, a cool house from the 1920s, more friends than you can keep up with--all of which are kind and devoted and cool and reliable, and best of all...you get married.
16MF: Ok...either you're me or you said you got married. It cannot be both.
MF-S: No, really! You know that guy you made up in your head as, like, the perfect imaginary guy?
16MF: How do you know about that?
MF-S: I'm you, remember?
16MF: Oh, right.
MF-S: Anyway, this guy you get married to is actually way cooler than THAT.
16MF: Not possible!
MF-S: Possible! He doesn't have all those undesirable traits you threw in to make it more realistic. Sweetie...*caring arm around my shoulders* your expectations right now are awfully low. Wait until you blow this pop stand. Then you'll see what REAL men are like. And real clothes. And real bookstores. And real museums. And real grocery stores. And real friends. And--
16MF: Ok, ok, I get it. But...this isn't anything remotely like what I planned.
MF-S: It never is.
16MF: One more thing...
MF-S: Yeah?
16MF: Do I ever get pretty?
MF-S: You don't change, but the beauty standard does. In a few years, there are going to be these women named "Kate Winslet" and "Beyonce." You won't know what hit you...
Nobody Cares About Your Stupid Dreams
Dreams are boring to hear about, and people who think they are magical portents for the future are full of shit.
Having said that, I keep having one over and over and over on an irritatingly regular basis. Generally, I can figure out what sort of detritus from the day spawned my dreams, but I'm totally stumped on this. So I'm calling out all (both) of my smart, sensitive, insightful readers to help me figure this thing out.
Features:
1. I always know I am married/engaged, but I can't remember to whom.
2. I always think it's the wrong person. Sometimes in a dream, I'll go through a couple of different guys.
3. It's always someone I have had some sort of history with. In an interesting twist, a couple of my friends' exes have made an appearance lately (ie Sara's Justin--I KNOW!). Even in my dream, I am utterly baffled and horrified by dating a friend's ex.
4. I am always incredibly disappointed with the quality of the faux-husband--after all, they didn't make the cut the first time--and know something is wrong--that I'm supposed to be with someone I really love, and if I am not with them now, I have been in the past.
5. I never get things figured out. Ever. In fact, I often wake up and it takes me a few seconds of panic to figure out "Wait a sec--I'm married to MS. He rocks!"
6. There's no pattern to when they happen. It's not after hard days, or fights, or schmoopy times or anything.
7. I can honestly say I have absolutely no leftover feelings for anyone from my past. 90% were such creeps that I wouldn't even be *friends* with them these days.
The thing is, I kinda *like* the dream. I wake up feeling all happy and cool and in luuuurve. The only downside is, I get into super vacuum clingy huggle boopy kiss kiss mode, which, frankly, is not something MS and I are, by nature, into.
So, um...any ideas?
Having said that, I keep having one over and over and over on an irritatingly regular basis. Generally, I can figure out what sort of detritus from the day spawned my dreams, but I'm totally stumped on this. So I'm calling out all (both) of my smart, sensitive, insightful readers to help me figure this thing out.
Features:
1. I always know I am married/engaged, but I can't remember to whom.
2. I always think it's the wrong person. Sometimes in a dream, I'll go through a couple of different guys.
3. It's always someone I have had some sort of history with. In an interesting twist, a couple of my friends' exes have made an appearance lately (ie Sara's Justin--I KNOW!). Even in my dream, I am utterly baffled and horrified by dating a friend's ex.
4. I am always incredibly disappointed with the quality of the faux-husband--after all, they didn't make the cut the first time--and know something is wrong--that I'm supposed to be with someone I really love, and if I am not with them now, I have been in the past.
5. I never get things figured out. Ever. In fact, I often wake up and it takes me a few seconds of panic to figure out "Wait a sec--I'm married to MS. He rocks!"
6. There's no pattern to when they happen. It's not after hard days, or fights, or schmoopy times or anything.
7. I can honestly say I have absolutely no leftover feelings for anyone from my past. 90% were such creeps that I wouldn't even be *friends* with them these days.
The thing is, I kinda *like* the dream. I wake up feeling all happy and cool and in luuuurve. The only downside is, I get into super vacuum clingy huggle boopy kiss kiss mode, which, frankly, is not something MS and I are, by nature, into.
So, um...any ideas?
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