Are You There, God? It's Me, MF

Dear Baby Jesus,

I need a job. In part because we need money, but that's not really why. The reason is that I am BORED. Could I clean the house better? Keep up with my laundry? Exercise another hour a day? Yes, I could do those things. But I have been doing those things for, oh, some time now and I'm kind of tired of doing them to the exclusion of all else. I could also read more books, look at more porn, and paint more pictures. All fun, until that is ALL YOU HAVE TO DO EVER.

Don't get me wrong, not working is still far, far superior to teaching. But, see, I've had at least one job, usually more, since I was 15, and while this whole taking it easy thing was cool for a while, I'm kind of over it. So, anyway, if you could just send a cashier position at Vintage Stock my way, that'd rock.

Thanks,
Mary Flannery-Scientist