Dear Oprah,
You have spent the last of my good will. When you were howling and gnashing your teeth because you'd gained weight, I felt sorry for you for being so sad about yourself. Then it started to get old. Then, today, you kept saying you "fell off the wagon" and accused others of "falling off the wagon" and you used that phrase over and over and over.
A little riddle for you--
Q: How is being kind of fat like relapsing into drug and alcohol addiction?
A: IT'S NOT!
I've learned an awful lot about addiction and what it does to people over the last few months. Let me tell you something. It takes some real gall to compare your inability starve yourself into some ridiculous cultural beauty ideal to the hell that is addiction. Last time I checked, you getting fat effected, uh, let's see...there's you. Then there's you. Oh! And of course, you. I think that about covers it. Meanwhile, alcoholics and drug addicts can cause their families to become homeless, force their children into foster care, commit crimes to feed the addiction and even mutate or kill their fetuses! When you relapse, you have to go to Macy's and buy some new pants. You do not have to get lost and abused by the justice system, beg for the right to even visit your family, or lose everything you have.
It really sucks that society has the kind of pressure on you that you must discount all your myriad accomplishments based solely on a number on a scale. I mean, it really sucks. But trust me, it doesn't crystal-meth-habit suck, ok?
So please, before you start really hurting people, shut up, Oprah.
-
7 comments:
hrm. i did like that she connected her weight issues to depression; it sounded at times that she was more concerned about being depressed than being fat.
I'm not really upset about the weight-harping per se. It's more about the connection she insisted on drawing between weight gain and substance abuse. While there are valid discussions to be had about that particular subject, I just felt that she was being crass and insensitive.
I'm wondering about causality, though. Is she fat because she's depressed--which I totally get, understand, and think is completely valid and needs taking care of poste haste. Or is she depressed because she's fat--which, while still valid and something that needs to be acknowledged and dealt with, calls for more of a perspective shift than self-flagellation.
And admittedly, I didn't listen to the whole thing. I just got my nose out of joint about the wagon falling off of.
she was saying that she was beating herself up for gaining weight, having gone from 160 pounds at 50 years old to 200 pounds at 53 years old. it was worse for her, too, because she'd made this big deal about her new body on her 50th bday. then she started gaining back and then found out she has a thyroid condition, which makes it such that even if she works out and eats healthfully, it won't really make a difference.
so she was beating herself up for having gained weight and for not taking care of herself externally the whole time... until she realized it was an internal issue, that she was depressed and that that was the source of her issues, not her weight.
i think there might be something to the addiction analogy, too, in that addictions are never about the thing one is addicted to but are really about one's interior issues. and yeah, having an eating disorder isn't usually as bad a problem as being addicted to meth, but they both have to do with the way one treats one's body and mind.
I think having an eating disorder is much closer to addiction than mere weight gain (which often has to do with disordered eating, which is something else altogether). In fact, they have an awful lot of similarities and are often not treated with enough gravity.
Weight and bodies are just a hot point that it's so hard to talk about them without feeling like you're walking on glass. Maybe I need to scale back the tone just a bit because at least she had it in her to talk about it at all. But, again, I reacted to her word choice versus her struggles.
Yes, but why does so much value rest on the number on the scale--and just that? She gained some weight. OK. Sucks for her (I guess). But why would she treat it like it's one of the worst possible things to happen to her. Why should gaining some weight--especially in her case--lead to depression? I'm not saying it doesn't--but it's that circular attitude which she's more or less pioneered that contributes to that manner of thinking. The belief that "I'm depressed coz someone who isn't a healthcare professional told me I was overweight, I'm gonna lose weight so I won't be depressed, dammit I really tried but my body won't allow me to get down to this weight and I'm still depressed! My weight is obviously the cause of all this depression! Help me Oprah!" makes any kind of sense.
But hell, maybe it *is* the worst thing that has ever happened to her, since for an entertainer the standard for physical perfection is set so high. Even for a 53-year-old black woman with a thyroid condition. Since she's always preaching all this personal empowerment and self-fulfillment and inner peace (admittedly, through some questionable "experts"--Deepak Chopra, Sylvia Browne, Dr. Phil, and the next fad guru of the week; that's a whole OTHER issue I have with the lady), it would be nice to see her be comfortable with who she is for a change. How's the line go? "Emancipate yourself from mental slavery."
Also--
*Pshaw* Like Oprah shops at Macy's.
CNN Showbiz Tonight on Oprah's weight loss episode: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y9CetxGUnEU
other opinions on and responses to the show from internet and conversations about the show with friends:
1. she was short on material and weight issues always sell
2. she is beating herself up and deserves compassion
3. she is depressed, and the depression is the problem--the weight issue is a red herring (though she is still in a lot of pain emotionally)
4. food is a drug, and overeating is an addition. Overeater's Anonymous exists for a reason. eating unhealthily willingly and knowingly is being bad to oneself.
5. she should be in counseling
6. gaining weight is not automatically bad and losing weight is not automatiically good, however both signal something going on interior-ly which should be paid attention to but is often ignored
I really have some Oprah issues. My issue is I LOVE HER and that she can do no wrong (except for Dr. Phil; that dude was a mistake). I can add nothing insightful here right now because I feel so protective of her--so combative!
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